I Dont Want Anything to Do With My Baby Dad

Everyone knows that accidents happen, and not all pregnancies are planned. But supposing you're pregnant and your partner doesn't want the baby? You won't be the first person who has had to cope with wanting to keep your baby when the father is against it. These BabyCentre readers have been brave enough to share their real-life stories of unplanned pregnancies in the hope that they could help you make the right decision.

Always make the right decision for you with an unplanned pregnancy

"Listen to your heart. If it's telling you to have this baby, then do it. Your partner will support your decision if he's a good guy. And if he walks away, maybe you're better off without him."
Tara

"Will you be able to look at yourself in the mirror again if you terminate for the wrong reasons? I had an abortion because that's what my boyfriend wanted and I still regret my decision three years on. If I was going to have a termination, it should have been for me and my reasons, not his selfish ones."
Kirsty

"At first, I really wanted to keep the baby. But my husband actually made some good points about our finances and living conditions. In the end I realised that I agreed, and wanted to be in a more stable place before bringing a baby into the world. Over the next few years, we got our lives together before trying again, and now we have a one year old that we both completely adore."
Ellie

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was young and unmarried. There was a lot of pressure from family and friends to terminate. I am so glad that I made my own choice and continued the pregnancy. I am now married to the father of my baby and things are getting better and better for us all the time. We love being a family, and although we started one sooner than we had planned, it's all worked out great. I'm so happy."
Laura

"It's so important that you are the one to make this choice, because you're the one who ultimately has to live with it. If you do terminate without being completely sure, it will eat you up inside and you'll never get over it."
Amanda

Having an abortion for your partner will not save your relationship

"When I found out I was pregnant, my partner made it clear to me that he wasn't ready to be a dad. To keep my boyfriend, I got rid of my baby. Ironically, our relationship is ruined anyway. I can't look at him in the same way anymore, and I don't feel the love for him that I once did. All I feel is resentment."
Erin

"When I found out I was pregnant with my fifth child, my partner insisted that I have an abortion. He felt that we would never cope with another baby and that our family was already complete. I went through with it but I can't believe how differently I feel towards my husband now. He's just not the person I thought he was. All I can think about whenever we're all together is how someone's missing. I don't think I'll ever get over this and I can't forgive my partner for that. We would have managed with five children somehow, but I don't know if I'll ever manage to love him in the same way again."
Lucy

Reluctant dads can change their minds even when they've said they don't want the baby

"When I first told my partner I was pregnant, he freaked out and said he didn't want it. But from the moment he saw our little one on the sonographer's screen he fell in love. He instantly became 'Daddy' and now he can't imagine life without our son. Sure, he still sometimes feels resentment that he hasn't got the freedom he used to have (don't we all?), but he truly believes that being a father has made him a better man. He's right, it has, and we've never been happier."
Grace

"My partner and I talked about having a baby, but never thought it would actually happen because we weren't technically trying. When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited, but my partner was like a rabbit in the headlights and constantly negative. It drove me mad and I thought he was being very selfish. I refused to let his bad attitude push me into a termination though. It was a tough nine months for us but when he held our baby for the first time he went all soppy and hasn't looked back since. I, of course, had the great satisfaction of telling him 'I told you so'."
Nicky

"When I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I really didn't want her to go through with the pregnancy. All I could think about was what we'd be giving up. It wasn't until I felt my baby kick for the first time that I realised we'd be gaining so much, too! I'm so pleased she didn't listen to me, and love my little family to bits."
Tom

"The whole pregnancy was awkward because he wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that it was happening. He refused to tell his friends and family I was expecting until I was about seven months along. I managed to persuade him to come to the birth and what happened afterwards was nothing short of a miracle. Unbelievably, he is besotted with our daughter. She's got him wrapped around her little finger."
Ashley

Practical steps to help with an unplanned pregnancy

"If you are struggling with the decision of whether or not to terminate a pregnancy, I seriously suggest that you and your partner have counselling. An unbiased third party can really help you both work out your feelings and express them better. Only once you've worked through all the issues and reasons will the answer be clear to you."
Sophie

Find a trained counsellor near you with our relationship support A-Z.

Lorna Marsh is senior editor at BabyCentre. She has more than 20 years' journalism and editing experience, including working for the NHS.

I Dont Want Anything to Do With My Baby Dad

Source: https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1011696/i-want-this-baby-but-my-partner-doesnt-parents-tips

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